Thoughts on Life

2012

2012-01-06T13:31:00.000-08:00

So I have been hesitant to determine a goal for the new year ... no resolutions for me, becuase I always fail and then feel horrible for failing. I would love to loose some weight, eat healthier, exercise, read my Bible daily, scrapbook daily, take more photos, spend more time with friends, Stay on top of our home finances better, keep a clean house .... I could keep on going, but all I am pointing out are the failures or faults that I have.
Today I read of someone who is claiming finding JOY everyday as her resolution. I also read of someone who claimed that thier year would look drastically different at the end than at the beginning (It did, but not in the expected ways ... be careful what you wish for). So, what about me? What is happening in 2012 that I need to develop and work on?
I have made the committment to return to school. I am working on my Masters through an online program. I LOVE school and learning. Reading and applying to my life have become an almost addiction to me. I think it has bettered me as most of it has been related to my faith growth. But now I am heading in a direction where I will be graded on my applications!
This is my resolution for 2012. To live as fully and healthily as I can that day. Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, Socially, Vocationally, Spiritually, Environmentally ... be the best person that I could THAT DAY ... if I go to bed at the end of the day and I am not happy with that day ... then I will start over the next day. Did I struggle socially that day? then I'll work a bit harder on it the next day. Did I have an emotional break down and yell at the kids? Start over the next day, appologize, repair damage, and move on.
I can do it. I can be the person God has designed me to be. I will do it. I will be the person God has designed me to be.
My new mantra! :)

Curveballs

2012-01-03T12:39:00.000-08:00

I got to thinking the other day about all the changes that have occured in 2011. I started off the year extremely unsure of what direction I was headed. I ended up starting Pampered Chef, quitting my job as Director of Learning Ministry ... as it was being yanked out from under me, started teaching 2 year olds, and now it is Jan 3, 2011 and my 1st day in my Masters program to start me on a journey to be a preschool director. ahhhhhh
I went from unsurity to stable ground to stand on.
What's the difference? God!
I have once again learned the hard way to keep my faith and focus on Him. He will lead me on the path he has designed for me. There will be bumps and bruises. I stay focused on the goal and all is well. God will call me. The body of Christ will call me. I just need to open my ears .... listen ..... follow

Back to school

2011-09-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

So many changes happening in life right now. The biggest is that now I am teaching 2 year olds. ahhh. I have the training ... I have 3 children head through this stage of their life ... Why am I pulling my hair out?

Each day brings a new set of challenges and Monday is no exception. This is the start of our 2nd full week of school. Not at one moment throughout the day were we able to maintain any control over the kids. They are all so sweet and we love each one dearly, but in a group ... they stop listening... even face to face!

We tried games, songs, redirection, time out (for a few misdemeanors) moving to outside, NOTHING WORKED!

Off to find my bed and get ready for another day.

Listening

2011-05-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

I'm quiet.
Listening for God.
He comes in a whisper, but it is oh so quiet of a whisper.
So I need to be quiet.
How hard that is when there is children ... husband ... work ... sports ... reading ... dishes ... volunteering ...
Is it in all this I can listen?
I need to open my eyes and ears to God's whispering

* reading a book with my daughter, laying in bed with her and helping her sound out words in her children's Bible.
* tossing a ball with my son in the backyard, attempting to throw and catch as well as he can.
* helping her get the shoes on the right feet, in clothes that are presentable, and keeping that smile on her face.
* vacuuming the floor so he is content when he comes home.
* painting a house for a family who so deserves it!

Here I am Lord.
I'm listening to you in the quiet and the noise of life, looking for all of your blessings.
And waiting for your answers.

Thanksgiving

2011-05-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

One Thousand Gifts and counting ...

1. A quiet home with children in bed
2. Time for thoughts
3. Shelter to keep me safe and dry
4. Sisters who love, care, & share
5. Husband who shoos me to retreat
6. Solitude
7. Friends who love me for who I am
8. Time to be and not do
9. Silence
10. Listening to God
11. Raspberry Lemon Drop Martinis
12. Knowing I don't have to cook dinner
13. Space in unhurriness
14. Water play
15. Getting into earth and planting
16. Time with a brother
17. Having focus
18. Sunny baseball games
19. Intelligent conversations with my son.
20. Knowing there is a time to go to bed and tomorrow is a new day

Thank you Ann Voscamp "One Thousand Gifts"

To focus on the thanksgiving and not the lack. To focus on the goal and not the want. To focus on the important and not the urgent. Is to find contentment and peace. What a struggle that is each and every day for me! Why? I should wake up in the morning with my first thoughts of praise and thanksgiving. Instead it is -- Do I really need to get out of bed? Can't I sleep just one more minute ... hour? Why is it morning already? Is this a soul matter or a health matter or are they the same? I guess everyday I just keep trying and not giving up. Until that moment when it happens and I'm not even being intentional, it has just become a part of who I am.

Thank you God for all that you give me, help me to appreciate those moments and strive to seek you more in everything. Amen

Something New

2011-05-17T18:18:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a blog recently and it is amazing the thoughts that go through my head when I am reading. I'm not a well spoken person - or at least I don't think so - but I do need to find a way to get my thoughts out. Journaling on paper has never worked for me, probably because there is no accountability. Not sure that a blog will offer the accountability either. One thing that I have learned about myself is the importance of not bottling myself up and not sharing myself with others. By sharing my story, I am often able to help others share theirs.

So who am I?

... Child of God ... Wife ... Mother ... Daughter ... Sister ... Friend ... Volunteer ... Caretaker ...

... I work in the church ... I work with Pampered Chef ... I am CFO for my family ...

... Chef and Nutritionist for my family ... Trying to keep up with my husband's technology fits ...

I could keep going -- couldn't I?

Today I keep thinking about all these roles. I have been caring for a sick 2 year old (who doesn't think she's sick...) Do you know how infuriating that can be? No, you can't play outside. No, you really do need to take this medicine. No, we can't go shopping. No, I can't share this drink with you. But then there are the Yes's... Yes, we can cuddle and read a book. Yes, we can sit together under this blanket. Yes, we can look at your baby pictures. Yes, I can share my love!

Some days this doesn't seem enough. But when I take a step back and contemplate what is really important. This is more than enough.